Eccentric Me

This entry is a piece of self-reflection, a rare glimpse into what makes me tick.

For as long as I remember, I wanted to be a medical doctor, a surgeon to be precise. But I've come to realise that I may not be well-equipped enough to be one, emotionally speaking. Yes, my emotional quotient is quite dominant. When it comes to matters of heart, emotions rules and logic gets thrown out of the window.

What has this got to do with me longing to be a surgeon? Well, I am not so sure whether I can cope with the emotional baggage of having a life literally in my hands. One clumsy move and it's all over. One precise swoop and the patient lives. The difference between these two scenarios can be less than an inch.

So I ended up being an engineer. Ironically, my area of speciality is safety systems, where I evaluate and determine whether the system in place is adequate enough to cover the risks involved. I travel all around the world, much like a surgeon, looking at each installation (patient?) with a critical eye, determining precisely what needs to be done to correct any inadequacy (corrective surgery?). Again, to draw comparison, if I make a mistake, people can die, monetary losses will be enormous, not to mention the impact to environment (think Chernobyl - that's what happens if a safety system is inadequate).

In a way, I am a surgeon, albeit an engineering one. And I have been doing this for more that 6 years, with the proverbial Sword of Damocles hanging on my head. But I haven't felt the emotional baggage weighing down on me so far. True, there are moments when I am emotionally charged by my work, but thank God I can still live with it.

Hmmm, maybe it's time to take up medicine and retrain myself to be a surgeon then. Now that's a thought.....sounds crazy? Nope, just eccentric old me.....

Right, the "surgeon" is flying off to Kerteh then..... be back in two days' time!